long and useless

This thing over NC17 - and whether to be locked or not locked - actually reminded me of a conversation a few people, including me, wikdsushi, lexin, and ellen_fremedon had over lubricants at Nimbus2003. I haven't actually thought on whether it would work, but with the amount of lubricant floating around the internet, wouldn't it be interesting to see what else (besides the ever so useful spell that gives everyone automatic lubrication) could be used? A spell that allows no trouble, no mess, and easy clean up is convenient for sure, but where's the fun in that?

A number of articles were suggested, including: rocket fuel (or was it just fuel?), wasabi (sparked, I think, by the fact that we were planning to go to a Japanese restaurant that evening), mayonnaise, various forms of salad dressing, and others. It was a pretty brief conversation, so I can't remember it as well as I should have, but the wasabi made a deep impression on me, because for one, it would hurt like a bitch to use that as lubricant. And two, it's green. Imagine that on a hard prick.

I would say yummy, but I'm not very fond of wasabi (read: at all), so I'm trying to imagine how a person would get to the wasabi in the first place. So desperate that they have no time to grab anything else? So desperate that they don't see the label? Or... so wizard-y that they don't know what wasabi is? It's possible. Depending on the strength of the wasabi, it could very well render the male writhing in pain.

Hm...

I'd like to see someone take this; I'll try, but I'm a geek and terrible at writing NC17 slash fics, so it would turn out rather poorly, if that.

( Smut? Virginity? Argh! )